A Man Not A Boy

I want a man.

Not a boy who drifts through life without direction, waiting for things to happen. I want a man who takes charge, who knows where he is going and wants me by his side, not trailing behind. I want a man whose presence feels like home, not a boy who makes me question my place in his life. I want a man who leads, not a boy who hides behind silence, hoping that problems will disappear if ignored long enough.

I want a man who sees me.

Not a boy who looks at me and only notices what I show him, but a man who sees through the cracks in my smile, who recognizes the shift in my voice when I say I’m fine but mean I’m drowning. A man who pays attention, who watches me the way the sky watches over the sea—endlessly, protectively, without needing to be asked. Not a boy who thinks I overthink too much, but a man who understands that my mind runs fast because I care deeply, because I feel everything too much, because loving him is not a thing I do lightly.

I want a man who values peace.

Not a boy who lets silence fester between us like an open wound. I want a man who fights for peace, who doesn’t let the night steal us away from each other. A man who would rather sit with me through an argument than walk away and leave me wondering if I matter. Not a boy who chooses distance when things get hard, but a man who stays, who chooses closeness, who chooses us. A man who understands that love is not only the easy days but also the days when everything feels like it's falling apart, and still, he chooses to hold my hand through it.

I want a man who reassures me.

Not a boy who grows frustrated when I ask if he loves me, if he wants this, if we will be okay. A man who understands that I have been through things that make me question love, that make me scared of the quiet, that make me fear the moment someone decides I am too much. I want a man who whispers, "You are not too much," even when I feel like I am. A man who reminds me, over and over, that I am loved, that I am safe, that I am his.

I want a man who includes me in his future.

Not a boy who only talks about where he is going without ever mentioning my name. Not a boy who makes plans and expects me to adjust. I want a man who speaks in "we," not just "me." A man who, when he dreams of tomorrow, sees me standing beside him, not watching from a distance, wondering if I was ever part of the picture at all. A man who builds with me, not a boy who only looks out for himself.

I want a man.

A man who loves with intention, who chooses me every day, even when it's hard, even when I’m difficult, even when life tests us. A man who holds my heart with steady hands, who doesn’t let his mood dictate the way he treats me, who doesn’t make me feel like I am walking on unstable ground, waiting for the next time he shifts from warm to cold.

I want a man who understands that love is not just words, not just good days, not just moments of tenderness before the storm. Love is staying. Love is choosing. Love is effort. Love is work.

And I am done settling for anything less than that.

Neta