Time Won’t Stop, So I’ll Run with It

I used to believe I had time. That life was this vast, stretching thing, waiting for me to move, waiting for me to find my way. I thought the people I loved would always be there, that the words I left unsaid could wait for another day, another moment, another lifetime if I needed. But time has never been merciful. It doesn’t slow down for lost souls or aching hearts. It moves, and it takes everything with it.

There were nights I spent staring at the ceiling, drowning in memories of things I should have done, words I should have spoken, love I should have fought for. I have replayed past versions of myself, different outcomes, different endings, as if I could rewrite what has already turned to dust. Regret has been my shadow, whispering in my ear, reminding me of every chance I let slip through my fingers.

I have held on to moments as if I could trap them in my palms, as if keeping them close would stop them from fading. But they fade anyway. People leave, not always because they want to, but because life demands it. Some disappear without a goodbye, some drift slowly until they are nothing more than a distant ache. And then there are those who are taken, ripped away without warning, leaving behind an emptiness that no amount of time can fill.

I have learned that love is not something to be timid about. It is not meant to be tucked away, saved for another time, another lifetime. Love should be loud, unrelenting, given without hesitation or fear. Because love is the only thing time cannot steal. And yet, how often have I let it go unspoken? How many times have I looked at someone and wanted to tell them how much they meant to me, only to let the words rot inside my throat?

If time won’t stop, then neither will I. I will no longer wait for the right moment, for the perfect circumstances. I will tell people I love them, even if my voice shakes, even if they don’t say it back. I will forgive where I can and walk away when I must. I will hold onto the ones who stay and let go of the ones who need to leave. And I will not let my fear of loss stop me from loving with everything I have.

I have spent too much of my life trapped in my own mind, tangled in the what-ifs and the almosts. But I refuse to be a prisoner to my own hesitation. I will no longer live as if I have another life waiting for me, another version of myself who will be braver, stronger, more willing to take risks. This is the only life I have, and I will run with it.

I will stop waiting for closure that may never come. Some wounds do not heal with time; they simply become a part of us, woven into the fabric of who we are. I will stop chasing after apologies that will never be spoken, explanations that will never make things right. Some goodbyes are silent, some endings are abrupt, and I will make peace with the fact that not everything broken can be fixed.

I will no longer apologize for feeling too deeply, for loving too fiercely. I would rather have a heart that bleeds than one that is numb. I will cry when I need to, laugh when I can, and embrace the full weight of being human. Because pain and joy are two sides of the same coin, and I will no longer deny myself either.

I will not waste another second pretending to be someone I am not. I will stop shrinking myself to fit into spaces that were never meant for me. I will speak my truth, even if my voice shakes. I will walk away from anything that dims my light, no matter how much I once loved it. Because I have learned that sacrificing myself to make others comfortable is not kindness—it is self-destruction.

I will live with urgency, not fear. I will chase after my dreams with reckless abandon. I will stop making excuses, stop convincing myself that I have time. Because time is not something we are owed. It is a privilege, and I refuse to waste it on doubt, on hesitation, on the fear of failure.

I will no longer wait for someone to save me. I will be my own hero. I will pick myself up, even when my legs are shaking, even when my heart is heavy. I will not let the weight of the past keep me from stepping into the future. I will rise, again and again, until the scars on my soul become proof of my survival.

I will learn to let go. Let go of the expectations that have chained me, let go of the need to control everything, let go of the idea that I must always have the answers. Some things are meant to be unknown, some paths are meant to be walked blindly. And I will trust that even in the uncertainty, I will find my way.

I will choose happiness, not because life is easy, but because I refuse to let pain be the only thing I know. I will find joy in the small things—a warm cup of coffee, the sound of rain against my window, the way the sun feels on my skin. I will stop chasing after something bigger and start appreciating what is already in front of me.

I will forgive myself. For the mistakes, for the failures, for the times I was too scared to try. I will not punish myself for the things I did when I was still learning, still growing. I will give myself the same kindness I have given to others, the same grace I have always deserved.

I will live. Fully, unapologetically, without hesitation. I will make mistakes and learn from them. I will fall and get back up. I will love and lose and love again. I will write my own story, one that is raw and imperfect and beautiful.

Because time won’t stop for me.

So I will run with it.

Neta.